Very Bad Jews

Maybe that's because a few years ago when someone called me a "nice Jewish girl" I knew she didn't mean it as a compliment. I don't know what Jewish girls are known for but I somehow don't see myself as "nice" and I am certainly no longer a girl. Nice Christian girls are known for being teases and getting married early, right? Or something like that.

The point is, there is a lot to remember about Judaism which my brain cannot seem to handle right now. For starters, I cannot seem to remember to light my Shabbat candles every Friday. It's actually one of my favorite Jewishy things to do, but I tend to remember on Saturday or Sunday - too late. But even if I did light the candle, I still don't know all of the prayer. "Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam ... " ?? I kinda dwindle off after that part.

So you can imagine that trying to recite a similar prayer eight days in a row and light candles to celebrate Hanukah  is like asking me to recite all my former phone numbers. Hell ---o. Too much!

Last Saturday night we did the Hanukah dinner complete with latkes (yum) at Mike's Aunt Sheryl's house. My brother in-law had printed out the prayer in phonetics to help us out. There we were: me, girlfriend Jen and girlfriend Kristin, all stumbling through the prayer trying not to look like we were ordering sushi in a Japanese restaurant for the first time. 

And then there's the small matter of the eight foot tree in my living room. The one with beautiful silver and blue ornaments on it(not the one above), presents under it and a big fat STAR on top. Don't you dare sass me about this. I have a child, for chrissakes! (see what I mean)

Lucky for me Mike's dad is Catholic. Hell, I might as well celebrate Visakah Puja while I'm at it.