Um, Thanks?

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All month people have been posting on their FB status the things for which they are thankful. Several times I thought of doing the same, but I have so much that I am thankful for right now that I didn't know where to start. I'm not sure if that means that I am especially lucky this year, but it feels like it and that's why I am writing this post. Because your life simply can't be as great as mine and I want you to feel jealous. Mmm-k?

Penny's Unconventional List of Blessings (in no particular order)

The fact that my husband is nine years younger than I am.  There are days when I feel terribly old. I am tired and my reflection in the mirror looks like it needs 83 glasses of water and a make-up artist from a sci fi movie. But then there's my husband with his punk music, his boundless creativity and his ability to stay up late and wash the dinner dishes. I love that. I love him and all his boyish charm that still includes riding a skate board and tolerating my old lady crankiness.

The Matawan Ladies  From Gretchen who never fails to have a spare can of black beans to Rebecca who always has a quick joke, these women are a valuable part of my life who probably don't realize how much I do appreciate their invitations to drink hang out. Though I turn down those invitations more than I accept, it's the thought that counts - and the hope that one day I will be able to get all that drunken jolly insanity on video. 

Zoloft  It's no secret that the Jersey weather gets me down. Around this time of the year I start listening to Louden Wainwright and I am all, "Dear God, give me California or give me death!". If I am feeling severely blue I start searching the internet for Home Giveaways in AnywhereButHere USA. Oh wait, I do that every month. Anywho, my dear friend Zoloft has saved this family in more ways than what I am allowed to type and for that I send a big high five to my PCP, Dr. Simone.

The Conservatives on my FB Friends list.  You know who you are, Roger, Candy, Chris, Chad.... I'm not saying I vehemently disagree with you and want to stick a fork in your eye when it comes to healthcare, gay marriage  or hunting. I would never say such a crass thing. What I'm saying is that I do appreciate our differences and the fact that it has not got in the way of you loving me. And that's important to me - your love. I once had a woman write me a fan letter that started with the sentence "You and I are not alike." That's how I feel about many many people I adore on FB.

Yosi Sergant  I met Yosi back in California when we were both members of an soft porn underground online community. He worked for a company that made miracles happen with viral media. I knew then that he would move on to very great things but I had no idea that it involved working for the President of the US or that because of jerky Glenn Beck his name and voice would ricochet all over CNN for that... thing. I did not publicly say anything about this scandal then because I wanted to follow Yosi's lead on the situation. But right now I just want to say that Yosi inspires me daily. So much so, that there are three reasons my son's Hebrew name is Yosef and he is one of them. 

Phone Calls from My Parents  I am a bad daughter. I don't call my parents enough and when we talk I sometimes am distracted to point that if I were the person talking to me, I would hang up. But they still keep calling!!! It's like they made a contract with the devil. They call me and I don't ask where the inheritance is. 

My Sister's Ability to Do What I Never Could  My sister's husband has been away from his family a lot due to his military career. Time and again, Alice has stepped up to the plate and been a single mom of four children. This year Dan is in Afghanistan as I type and it will be months before we will be hearing form him due to his current job.  I do worry about my sis, but I also am profoundly thankful for her and my brother-in-law's service. All the reasons we have for fighting this war seem to be the same reasons for ending it sometimes.

Harleys  No, I don't own one, but my brother, Jim, does. It's his joy and in turn, it becomes my joy because I like to see him happy. And when it came to a choice between buying a Harley and marrying his last girlfriend we were all about the Harley. Great choice! Excellent!

The OutLaws This includes everyone from my mother-in-law to Mike's 2nd cousin of the Fallones, once removed (whoever that is) These people are crazy with a capital K. They remind me of a band of gypsy travelers with their own set of laws, traditions and foods. Anybody watch "The Riches"? Add in a lot more college educations and there you go. Or maybe they're more like pirates. Whatever. They are positively charming and generous to a fault. 

Those Who Click My LIKE Button  Wow, that sounds nasty. It's like, nothing, to hit that button, but so many are just too busy trying to think of witty Updates to notice my important posts on music, lost keys, the sleeping habits of my kid and my hair. HELLOOOOW-ah! This is my great contribution to the internets! I agree we totally need a dislike button for that video of the girls popping that guys' zit on his back. But your thumbs up on my profile page makes me super happy Kai Lan style. If you make positive comments too I am pretty sure this earns you points in Christian heaven. Angela, you are SO THERE!

August's Antics She's not in any recitals yet, but this girl's posing and twirling and leaping, however un-coordinated, never fails to make me smile. She is a Princess, a Dancer, a Lawyer and a Comedian at any second of the day. I now know what my mom felt all those years ago when "Because" was never a good enough answer. I try very heard to answer all those questions, but when I can't I am glad I can fall back on "It's magic. Your dad will tell you."

Asher's Cuteness  If he wasn't cute, Mike and I would have been arrested for abuse long ago. I don't know how all those parents with ugly babies do it.

My Husband Still Has a Job  What is there to explain here, really?

Other miscellaneous things I have to list per my Contract With Satan:

The Obama's
Top Tomato coming to a spot near me
Jamba juice
Temple Beth Ahm
Digital photo editing
Showtime On Demand
Kim Possible
The Bullet
The Ability to Feign Innocence
Old Friends Who Keep Their Mouths Shut

Eh, we'll end here. Be good people! Enjoy your freedoms on this Turkey Day!  Find a designated driver. Follow your prescriptions. When in doubt, have seconds. 

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