Girl, You Know It's True

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I was recently invited to a bachelorette party for someone who is in their 20's. This party is to take place that one free night I have between Passover and Easter. I'm a married woman with two small children. I haven't slept through the night in six years. Alcohol makes me bitchy and I would be the oldest woman in attendance.  If I have to explain where I'm going with this, you should stop reading.

But it did get me reminiscing about those days when nothing pleased me more than going on an alcohol fueled dance-a-thon with a few of my most irresponsible friends. Trolling for trolls, apparently. Knowing we would never find Mr. Right at a club called Crosswinds but going anyway because we were brave and bored.

I have had some of the craziest crap said to me by guys. I looked for that diamond in the rough. I remained optimistic even in the face of ignorant, sexist, Ijustwokeupwhereami times. But there is one guy that stands out as the awkward moment of my dating mis-steps. I call him Serendipity Guy.

Serendipity guy sat across a table from me at IHop in the wee hours of a Saturday morning after we left a dance club.
Him: I can't believe I met you tonight. I don't know what it is - what's that word? That movie with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale?
Me: Serendipity?
Him: Yes. Serendipity! It's "serendipity". That's what this is. This is so amazing. I feel at peace, like this was meant to be. Do you know what I mean?

Did I know what he meant?? Uh huh. I sure did. He said serendipity and and I heard "You have reached the lowest point in your dating life. This moment is crack-pipe awful, so, obviously, it can only get better from here."

That dude left with a wrong number and I left with the knowledge that, indeed, there is a lameness that few of us can testify does exist in the hearts of desperate men.




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