Penny Rene: December 2007 Archives

This time of the year we are usually surrounded by friends and family who knew us back when we were knee high to a grasshopper. Memories flood us of years past and one can get a little misty eyed just thinking about all the things that once were so important to us but now are no longer:

Cathy Quick Curl
Power Rangers
parachute pants
slinkys

You get the picture.
And that is why this video is so appropriate today. Share it with Uncle Bill. Everybody has an uncle Bill, right?

Because peer pressure is harder in your 30's.

The book will be available in late January / early February.

A couple of days ago I got an email through my Flickr account about some very old photos I had taken from one of my previous lives as a Christian Band Aid. I do hope you have seen Almost Famous.

For about ten years I had more than a few friends who were/are very well known in the Christian Music world. And for those of you who think that is a small world, think again. Christian music outsells Jazz, Classical, Latin, Sountracks and Bluegrass. And every year the sales increase. Christian artists are very much celebrities in the Bible belt states like Oklahoma.

Audio Adrenaline became one of the industry's top selling bands, won some Grammys and literally toured the world almost non-stop from 1994 to 2007. But last April they performed their final concert and have finally retired as a band. The person who found my photos on Flickr works for a spin-off charity of the band called the Hands and Feet Project. She seems like a nice enough girl who tells me she wants some old pictures to embarrass the guys with.

I have several good memories of those early days with the band. I went to a lot of shows and it was their manager, Scott who gave me my first ALL ACCESS backstage pass - something I cannot seem to enjoy a concert without now. I learned a lot about managing bands (later became an artist manager myself), the fine art of the head nod (what you do when you have nothing good to say to the person speaking to you), and the bizarre complications of adulation of strangers. The most useful thing Scott taught me about management is this: A good manager should have the ability to basically deliver harsh criticism (You're fired) to someone and have that person say Thank You before they walk away.

In the last week since this girl's request for my old photos I have reminisced a great deal of those years when the answer to my problems was summed up by my friends bible verse quotes and the only thing I need to not feel alone in the world was a song. I don't feel I am exaggerating when I say that Christian music sustained me during my teenage and early adult years.

Unfortunately, as I got older, my questions about the absence of God were not so easily answered. I no longer believe these lyrics in full. I remember the good times with the people who make up bands like Audio Adrenaline and dcTalk, but I also remember the severe heartache that I experienced then. When I speak about Christian music now - or even Christianity - it feels as though I am caressing old scars that are still tender to the touch.

Though Christianity, by definition is about forgiveness and acceptance, it is precisely the lack of those two things that come to mind when I recall my previous life in the Christian music industry. I watched the footage of AA's last concert and it occurred to me that what I wanted to ask those men now was this:

What did you learn on this trip since those early days when we were friends?

I want to hear the new truth.

I'm not giving my photos to this girl who politely asked for them. It would be like Penny Lane selling her story to Teen Beat. I was a part of what was. Not what is. I think I need to keep it that way. At least for now.

Well, do you think he'll win now?

I worked at all three places. Deutsche Bank, Chabad of San Diego and Crowe & Dunlevy. If that's not enough to make a person hate the tap dance of office culture, I don't know what is. Which is why I can completely relate to this clip on a serious level.

Our Thanksgiving holiday at my sister's house was great, thank you.

But a strange thing happened when I saw my brother. I cried.

Since the day I became pregnant with my daughter the "Tears" switch has flipped on. That was nearly two and a half years ago. That's also when I last saw my brother. I was barely pregnant at our family reunion and didn't know it.

Before this there were two expressions of mine that were familiar to my family:
Stoic and Agitated.

Unfortunately, I am still often both those things. But now I am also:
Eternally Thankful and Crazy and Forgetful and Giddy and Weepy.

I am a whole new set of dwarfs waiting for my own soon-to-be-canceled sitcom.